The Greatest Trick

There is an amusing Gary Larson cartoon which features a man being dangled off a skyscraper in a dark box full of writhing snakes. The caption reads “Professor Gallagher’s controversial technique of simultaneously confronting fear of heights, snakes and the dark”. That is more or less what is inflicted on an audience watching Snakes on a Plane; a superb B-movie that manages to pull off the difficult trick of being funny, scary, and ridiculous all at the same time.

The project has an interesting production history to say the least. Originally conceived by a bunch of studio executives at an after hours party in a competition to see who could come up with the worst pitch for a film, the ludicrous plot was promptly turned into a screenplay and given the green light. Subsequently, a huge internet buzz was generated around the movie with chat rooms everywhere suggesting scenes and one-liners. Incredibly, New Line took note of these ideas and commissioned a re-shoot to make the film, scarier, gorier, and funnier. Result? The first film dictated by fanboy committee in movie history. Surely it would be terrible.

But it isn’t. I had fully expected Snakes on a Plane to be in the “so bad its good” category, yet its actually really good. As a horror film it’s genuinely scary, and it’s also a sharp comedy that mines a rich vein of black humour. The plot revolves around a mobster’s attempt to silence a prosecution witness by unleashing a crate of deadly snakes on the plane he is travelling on. Samuel L Jackson plays Neville Flyn; the FBI agent transporting this witness who ends up trying to save the passengers from the slithering intruders.

By playing this nonsense completely straight, director David R Ellis crafts his best film to date. When Samuel L Jackson issues instructions like “round up as many dead snakes as you can find” it is nothing less than a delight. From the moment you set foot on the plane, you’re in B-movie heaven trying to figure out which of the stock disaster movie characters will get bitten first? The bimbo stewardess? The obnoxious rapper and his less than enthusiastic entourage? The token Brit who can’t stand Americans? The spoilt girl with the ludicrously pampered dog? Or – heaven forbid – the woman with a baby?

Make no mistake; this isn’t a film that will win awards. There are loads of nits you could pick in the plot, and the special effects aren’t always up to scratch, but who cares? It is immensely entertaining and undoubtedly destined for cult classic status. If your any of the following are your favourite films – An American Werewolf in London, Tremors, Gremlins, Shaun of the Dead, or Them – Snakes on a Plane comes more highly recommended than Schindler’s List. If not, the chances are you won’t get the joke and will be offended by the gratuitous violence, bad language and nudity. But since the entire film is gratuitous it seems crazy to get on a moral high horse. I have to confess to thoroughly enjoying every minute. Mad, bad and politically incorrect, Snakes on a Plane is a wonderful breath of B-movie fresh air. I defy you not to laugh as Samuel L Jackson’s utters the films immortal – and unrepeatable – f-word filled line towards the end when he decides enough is enough. A guilty pleasure then, but a pleasure nonetheless.

Simon Dillon, August 2006.

Had Miami Vice been directed by Michael Bay with exactly the same script, it would probably have been vacuous, bloated, incomprehensible, slick nonsense. As it is, Miami Vice was helmed by Michael Mann, and consequently is extremely stylish and well-directed vacuous, bloated, incomprehensible, slick nonsense.

Bearing little resemblance to the TV series, the plot revolves around a deep cover operation undertaken by Miami detectives Crockett and Tubbs as they try to bust a major arms and drug smuggling trafficker that bamboozled the FBI. The assignment becomes complicated by Crockett’s seduction of Isabella, the wife of the drug trafficker, which in turn leads to Tubb’s girlfriend Trudy also becoming endangered.

To be honest it’s all much ado about nothing. There next to no character development, and thus very little opportunity to actually care about any of the cast. Colin Farrell’s Crockett is brooding but dull, and as Tubbs Jamie Foxx gives the least challenging performance of his career. Elsewhere the excellent Ciaran Hinds is wasted as an FBI boss, and only Li Gong’s Isabella lingers for any length in the memory.

On the plus side, this is a Michael Mann film. His trademark focus pulls, extreme close ups and over the shoulder hand held shots are all present and correct, and if you are a fan of his style then you will probably enjoy this. Miami Vice lacks excitement and emotional punch of his better police thrillers such as Heat, but there are just enough blazing gunfights and operatic action scenes to hold the attention, despite the obligatory gratuitous swearing and gory violence. If nothing else, it will make you want to buy a speedboat.

Simon Dillon, August 2006.

As I sat through a smattering of trailers for upcoming children’s films prior to the screening of Cars, I wondered what had happened to that once proud genre. Most films aimed at a younger audience these days seemed dumbed-down to a lowest-common-denominator level. At the risk of sounding like an old git, I’m sure it wasn’t like that when I was a child. Classics such as The Wizard of Oz, The Railway Children, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, E.T The Extra Terrestrial and Babe are few and far between these days. I refuse to accept that children are so different today that they have to be patronised with “hilarious” flatulence gags, especially as all the above mentioned films are as universally popular as ever.

So thank goodness for Pixar. They seem to be the only people making decent family entertainment at present, not to mention the best computer animated features. Cars is director John Lasseter’s first film since Toy Story 2, and it is such a fine addition to Pixar’s superlative canon, that one wonders when, if ever, they will come up with a dud.

The plot concerns up and coming Lightning McQueen, an arrogant, cocky young race car who insists he doesn’t need friends and works alone. Whilst travelling to a big race, he gets lost through a series of unfortunate incidents, and ends up wrecking the road in the backwater town of Radiator Springs. Sentenced to community service, he is told he has to repair the road before leaving. At first, he can’t wait to go, but gradually he makes friends and discovers the importance of slowing down once in a while.

The colourful characters in Radiator Springs are memorable and beautifully rendered, and the vocal talents of Owen Wilson, Paul Newman and many other Pixar regulars are put to terrific use. I particularly liked the relationship between the “hippy” VW van and the army jeep. Also, look out for one hilarious moment involving “tractor tipping”. Bookended by two intensely exciting race sequences, Cars is rich, dramatically satisfying, and hugely underrated (by critics, not audiences).

Frankly, I’m baffled that this has been criticised in some quarters for being too slow in the middle, because that is the entire point of the film. Whilst the action slows down in the mid-section, the plot never does, and there is not one superfluous scene. Some parts are predictable, but the story is so delightful that one doesn’t care. At two hours, it is unusually long for an animated feature but Pixar’s previous movie The Incredibles was the same length and no-one complained. Cars is as long as it needs to be and I wouldn’t have cut a thing.

The obvious subtext is a well-meant message about avoiding burnout and nervous breakdown. This like Toy Story gives Cars a power to transcend its surreal setting and enables the audience to make considerable emotional investment in the characters. Lightning McQueen, no doubt aptly named after Steve McQueen with reference to pictures like Le Mans, slowly comes to learn what is important in life, but his journey never comes across as preachy, and the lightness of touch makes the moral all the more potent.

It seems utterly redundant to pour superlatives on the technical qualities of Cars, surely Pixar’s most visually stunning and achingly beautiful film to date. Every frame of widescreen space evokes such jaw-dropping wonder that I recommend you see it for that reason alone. Oh, and whatever you do, see it on a big screen. It really, really needs it.

One more thing: there’s a sublime little Pixar short film showing prior to the main feature called One Man Band. Don’t arrive late and miss it!

Simon Dillon, July 2006.